OS = Overall Survival

On 1/11 I had actually started to write a post, "It's really amazing at how I can feel..." The rest of that sentence was supposed to read: "so good after feeling so bad for a week." I was referring to the malaise from another round of chemo and then how 5-7 days later it's completely gone, back to normal. I never did finish that post because truthfully I was never really feeling "so good."

For the past three weeks I've been struggling with a soreness (like a knot) in my right shoulder blade and an aching pain down my right leg (non-sarcoma leg). I powered through the three weeks and managed to fit in a nice adventure to Akron to visit my company's corporate headquarters. The trip was a great distraction from the pain and really made last week bearable.

As always when I haven't seen people in a while I was asked the question, "What's the prognosis?" The question sent me off researching again, though I should have known better. Here's what I found:

"the overall survival (OS) results are... supportive of clinically relevant activity with trabectedin (Yondelis): the median OS of 13.9 months [...is...] very favorable in the context of an expected 6-month survival range for a patient population of advanced/metastatic STS having progressed after anthracyclines and ifosfamide (Demetri 2009)."

To translate it says that had there not been Yondelis my median overall survival rate would have been 6 months; however, on Yondelis my median overall survival rate is 14 months.

This obviously made me sad for a couple days, after all it was just a week ago that I passed my 6-month anniversary from being diagnosed. And then to think I have less than a year left to live obviously scared the sh*t out of me. It took awhile to snap out of these thoughts but burying myself in work and spending good times with Autumn made them pass. I know numbers are just numbers and I know that this particular excerpt which I pasted above was not specifically on myxoid liposarcoma and trabectadin, which has a slightly better outcome, but I still got sad.

Michelle Beck and Blake Eltis came to visit at just the right time and we had a great weekend together. I still have the same persistent pains but I think we've figured out the right cocktail for comfort and tomorrow starts another round!

"Breathe in Hope, Breathe out Love"