Saturday, July 3, 2010

Aftermath of Round One

For the past couple days I've been avoiding my computer, ipad, blackberry, saving me the embarrassment of having to explain why there are specks of digested food stuck in the crevices of my various devices. More than anything (and I've been trying to pin this down for awhile now), I have felt nauseous during the days following chemotherapy.

I sit up in bed and get nauseous. I get up to go to the restroom and get nauseous. I go upstairs and get nauseous. I sit at the kitchen table and get nauseous. We walk outside and I get nauseous. Everything smells different and makes me nauseous: my breath, kisses from my wife, hugs from my family.

I spoke to my Aunt Rose who is on her 6th Round of chemotherapy. She told me, "You know what they say about getting old? This shit ain't easy." Aunt Rose is so strong! I wonder if chemotherapy is easier to go through when you're older. When you're older more people are dependent on you; whereas when you're younger, you're still dependent on others. Kill the queen bee and the entire hive dies; kill a worker bee and, well, life goes on.

For me I have my Autumn and hopes that my frozen sperm will one day grow into a beautiful family. I also have me my friends and family, who may not directly depend on me, do worry about me very much. These are my dependents that keep me going.

9 comments:

  1. Jeff, if we all could take some of this misery from you, we would. Hang in there, the chemo is helping in its own nasty way. And we do depend on you, don't forget that for a minute. We depend on you to be here for a long, long time.

    Lots of love to you and Autumn...

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  2. Jeff--there are lots of great anti nausea medicines out there. Ask for all you can. Hope you are feeling better soon. We are thinking about you.

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  3. JMB, i couldn't have said it any better myself...

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  4. Jeff, not sure what the oncology staff have told you about ways to help stop the nausea. If you can, eat lots of small, frequent meals. Avoid
    spicy, greasy, fried foods. They induce nausea. Try to find foods that taste good, and if you take the anti-nausea meds(which I highly recommend)
    always increase fiber or take medicines to prevent the constipation that they may cause. Easier said than done. Hope you feel better soon.
    Rochelle Horadam

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  5. I hope you start feeling better ASAP! It will pass and you will feel better soon! We are all here for you to keep you going and you will get through all this in no time! I love you and I am excited to see you soon!! xoxox

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  6. I hope you start feeling better ASAP! It will pass and you will feel better soon! We are all here for you to keep you going and you will get through all this in no time! I love you and I am excited to see you soon!! xoxox

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  7. Have you tried peppermint tea? I read that it helps with the nausea so I sent you some real English tea in the post. I hope it made it, Royal Mail can be very slow! I hope you feel better soon, and we are confident that you WILL have the beautiful family that you and Autumn have always dreamed of. Can't wait for our international play dates. :-)

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  8. Who knows what it is about chemo that affects what smells good or bad. My friend cannot to this day stand the smell of baby powder because when he was going through chemo, a group of elderly women were always in the waiting room. And what do they smell like - baby powder! My nurses used the perfume from Victoria's Secret. At the end of my treatment, the doctors told them they could not wear perfumes. But whenever I smelled that smell, I had to cover my nose. Once I told a girl at work, "Oh, you're wearing Victoria's Secret!" She jumped back and said, "You can tell?!!" She thought I could see her bra and underwear! I still cover my nose when I smell that to this day. The brain is so tricky. But that too will pass.

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  9. Not true! You are not a worker bee, we do depend on you so much. Jeff you have been such an inspiration to Clark and I, you are so strong. There is NO way you are a worker bee, you are the "Queen" in our book, always.

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